These past two weeks have been such fascinating ones. Once you get a little buzz things start to happen around you I guess.
Last week I wrote an article for a local San Diego Theatre website- and it was lovely. It was also extremely nerve-wracking. I am still figuring out how to exactly define this entire project, develop a positive public image, and maintain a long-lasting role in San Diego. Writing the article forced me to stop stalling and articulate- which I think I did well. I hope it made us seem hopeful, and not looking to fight for our worth. I hope to prove our worth, and I have faith that we will.
After that article was put out, as well as after we went more public with our facebook page and posted some company pictures that we took to give folks an idea of who we were- after all this, people have started reaching out to me. Through e-mail, facebook, and by stopping me to chat. People want to know what is up, and they seem to want to be a part of it- or sometimes they just want to let us know they are excited.
Some people have heard of the content of our first piece and want to share stories that are similar in context! Strangers are telling me things from their personal life, and all I can do is listen, and feel in awe by even this small burst of excitement.
But, with the positive is the negative as well. Now listen up. I am a woman. A premenstrual, hormonal, theatrical woman- and I get sensitive. And insecure. And scared. And sometimes I think everyone hates me. Or that I am pregnant even though I’m not.
So I might be hyper-aware of things. And I WILL get over it. But I have seen the hint of doubt from a select few artists around town, and it bums me out. How can people ALREADY be doubtful? All we have done is posted some pictures! Wrote an article! Outwardly said “I’m excited about this!” Heaven forbid any new artist TRY anything! Heaven forbid we even SAY we are creating something new!
It is amazing to me how people are so quick to hate, doubt, and ridicule anything new- anything distracting from themselves.
All we can do is be supportive, accepting, and understanding of concern and doubt. All we can do is love ourselves enough to believe. And be GRATEFUL to those out there that are excited instead of doubtful and catty.
I AM so excited! And not because this is perfect- but because we are taking risks, and we are TRYING instead of complaining about what we don’t have.
No pictures or video tonight. Just a little behind-the-scene insight from someone who is going through some new and 99.9% amazing experiences.